18 Questions with Michael Gross and The Statuettes

1. Tell us about the band?

We’re a few dudes that play music together simultaneously sometimes.

2. Have you ever been fed up with playing music or with band members, why?

Matt: Yup. Because.

3. What was your first concert experience? Do you remember how you felt once the concert was over?

Michael: We played in a dive bar and we shared the bill with a band dressed in pajamas. It felt like we were on top of the world.

4. Did you grow up wanting to play music, or when did the whole making albums thing come about and how?

Michael: I wanted to be in the NBA when I grew up. I didn’t start getting serious about music until I was about 21.

Matt: I was in a rap group with my sister when I was 10. We wrote songs about our dogs. I started playing drums in Jr High to get girls. It didn’t work, but I kept playing drums anyway.

5. What qualifies you guys to be in a band?

Michael: a pulse and an instrument.

Matt: Absolutely nothing.

6. Do you have a favorite song you have ever written? Why?

Michael: Not really. They’re all terrible.

7. What is your greatness weakness as a band?

Michael: We have no weaknesses. We’re the greatest band EVER!

Matt: Mike is delusional.

8. What qualities should a successful label or manager have?

Michael: Doing things for you that you can’t otherwise do yourself.

Matt: A great smile and a winning personality.

9. What’s the scariest thing that has ever happened to you in your life?

Michael: When I was four years old, I dreamed an alligator bit my arm off. True story.

10. What’s the first thing you do when the band arrives in a new town while on tour?

Michael: Find a place to curl up with a good book.

Matt: Fast Food, Wi-fi, Bathroom. All at the same time.

11. Have you ever had an audience member give you the willies because they kept looking at you all weird?

Michael: I don’t know about the “looking” part, but I did get my neck licked once by a 40 year old woman.

Matt: I usually stare out blankly at the audience when I play. I’m the one giving the willies to people.

12. Have you ever cried while listening to music? If so what were you listening too?

Michael: I don’t cry ever.

Matt: maybe.

13. If you could re-record, or re-write any song of yours what would that song be?

Michael: Even though we’ve already recorded the song twice. I would love to do “I’ll Come Quietly” again. I think we have it where we want it now.

14. What’s the worst place you have ever played a show at, and why?

Michael: Too many to name.

Matt: We played a show at the Lava Lounge in L.A. No one showed up, and while I was waiting in the van after the show, a homeless gentleman asked me if I had, “The Chronic.” I did not.

15. In a perfect world how many albums would you have to sell to be happy?

Michael: 5 hundred billion.

Matt: 2

16. What do you guys have planned for the future?

Michael: Hoverboards, flying Delorians, dehydrated pizza.

Matt: I want to travel into the future because, “Something has to be done about my kids” and stop my son, who looks exactly like me, from joining a gang with Biff’s grandson. Then I’ll pick up a copy of Gray’s Sports Almanac in an attempt to go back to the present and “put some money on the Cubbies.”

17. What music do you listen to when you are having a bad day?

Michael: Bad Day by Daniel Powter

Matt: Bad Days by Flaming Lips

18. If you had your life to live over again, what one thing would you change?

Michael: my phone number.

Matt: I’d travel back to 1955 and accidentally stop my parents from falling in love and spend the rest of my time there trying to get them to dance at the Enchantment Under The Sea dance.

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